And Another Thing

Some camper quotes: (I'll add more of I think of more)

"If you're singing just so other people can hear you, it doesn't count."

"I know you're a sinner, but I still like you."

Clog #8 - Every Title I Try Sounds Stupider Than Usual

Each day of my week gets two words.

Sunday: Smooth Start

Monday: With Campers

Tuesday: Program Poker

Wednesday: Decision Pending

Thursday: HOOOOOO-LY CRAP!

Friday: Finished Poorly

Saturday: Thirteen Miles

AND DONE.

Clog #7- Amazing Grace

My whole summer has been about grace.

During Middle School 2, my whole week was about Grace.

I don’t think Grace understands grace.

I don’t really understand Grace, either… I thought I did. I thought I was truly giving of myself to someone love-starved. But I haven’t communicated with her in a week, so maybe I just tried to show Grace what grace was so other people would see me and think, “Wow, look at Meredith and Grace, Meredith really understands the idea of grace, her whole life is so full of grace…”

 6 6y5rytrerrt5t5r*

The point is about Grace and grace and I don’t love people as individuals and I wish I did but I don’t but I also learned that there is a way to actually show Jesus’ holiness and grace (not MY “holiness and grace”) to other people and I’m pretty sure that the whole process has something to do with grace…

But maybe it has more to do with Grace.

Because Christ cared more about people than about concepts, more about individual needs than ANYTHING ELSE…

And in my own power, I have NO ability to care about anyone’s individual needs other than my own pathological circus tricks for attention.

Which is where grace (and Grace) come in.

And if you’re still reading this (all five of you out there) – please pray for me and for Grace and that we would know grace.

*Some head-to-keyboard action in response to my own wild hypocrisy.

Clog #6 - Hiking in Lightning

Sometimes, you just need to be one of the four idiots going in the wrong direction. *

One of the four because community is good, going because actually doing stuff is good, the wrong direction because more memorable is good.

Last Saturday, I was privileged enough to drive to Glenwood Springs and back with Ivy, Ashton, and Morgan. Originally, about 10 people had planned on going, but we spent the night at camp, and watched a scary movie until like 2 a.m., and then no one was awake until like 10 a.m., and time was a-wasting… and then the four of us were like, why are we NOT going to Glenwood? So we went… YOLO, I guess. If you call a ridiculous waste of gas YOLO… but it was a good experience, because experiences are good – and onward –

 It was three hours from camp to the to the Hanging Lake trailhead. When we got there, it was thundering, and raining, and, best of all, lightning-ing…

I hate lightning.

So, I was all, “Hey, guys, I think this is a bad idea… I mean, look at the weather.”

Which received the unanimous response: “We did NOT drive all the way to Glenwood Springs to not hike Hanging Lake. And, YOLO.”

So, up we went. Someone told us halfway up that the lake was closed for lightning.

I practically started skipping back down the mountain… only to realize that the someone was just kidding… because jokes are good…

So, we kept hiking. As EVERYONE ELSE on the trail was coming down…

Which turned out to be a huge blessing because we got Hanging Lake all to ourselves. And pictures couldn’t do it justice, but I’ll try to get one on here at some point…

When we did get down, all of Glenwood was soaking wet. So the original plan of camping and driving back to Elim the next day was not going to pan out…

So we drove back to Woodland Park. YOLO.

Around 11 p.m., we pulled the car over to the side of Highway 67 and lay on top of Morgan’s Jeep and looked at the stars.

I was terrified that some car was going to pull over and strange men in black hoodies were going to jump out and kidnap us.

When did I get so cautious? Have I always been this way? If so, why???????

*This applies particularly to a weekend trip, but it also works for the general experience of programming a week at camp… four people, who think they’re super important, trying to organize some fun and games for children… we create SO MUCH DRAMA and we FORGET ABOUT THE KIDS. GAH.

Clog # 5 - Spunk

Instead of composing some sort of readable blog post, I decided to photo stalk wedding pictures of myself.

I’m not sure how deep this whole “wildly self-centered” thing goes, but I’m scared to find out.

The past week was full of whimsy... probably best illustrated in the numerous kitchen renditions of Josh Turner’s “Would You Go with Me?” I had wedding on the brain, and that was my cousin’s first dance with her husband…

“If I gave you my hand, would you take it and make me the happiest man in the world/ if I told you my heart couldn’t beat one more minute without you, girl/Would you accompany me to the edge of the sea, help me tie up the ends of a dream? I gotta know/ Would you go with me?”

And I don’t even like country music, so apparently CAN’T CHANGE THAT doesn’t apply here.

Since I typed out the entire chorus of “Would You Go with Me?” I should probably pause in the blog to mention Ivy Moriah Good. Ivy is from Tennessee, and she is the reason why I know those lyrics. The things I love about Ivy include: 1. She treats people at fast food establishments like real people. 2. She likes to sing country music with her lovely singing voice 3. She’s about as blunt as it gets... reminds me of some other amazing friends I’ve been blessed with in the past year.

She’s incredible. She just shipped herself out here after finding the Camp Elim website, not knowing anyone… that’s thing 4. She’s psycho courageous. She did take off to go see Mt. Rushmore with some other staff people last weekend without me, but I was in Idaho at a wedding, so I guess I can’t complain.

And we just had a fantastic DMC (deep meaningful conversation) on my couch when we should have been getting rest for the campers we will meet TODAY… eh. Can’t change that.

Anyway. Ivy’s got some spunk.

Camp is not a place, but a collection of people.

A Scrap in an Old Journal

4/12/2011

Today is a day for doubts of every kind. Why did I ever believe that things would become easier? That I would reach some glorious summit of success or understanding?

I have realized that my life will be peppered with difficult tasks, that I will often be tired, that I will have cellulite and wrinkles… that I will yell at my children in supermarkets and stay up on April 13^th to finish my taxes. I will burn chicken, watch copious amounts of television, and let the majority of my dreams fade into the dust.

The brokenness I know now I will know always… Oh, God, how beautiful they all are! They are just as broken as me! And despite the crying, despite the pain, despite the tedium and the torment of days –

                                                                                                                He is whistling. And so can I.

Not a Clog - Barbie and Ken Wedding!

My cousin got married on Saturday.

The whole thing was straight out of Pintrest – alternating bridesmaid dresses, a sunflower in the bouquet, cowboy boots for the reception, lights strung across a barn.

I could break it down into pieces, I suppose. Walking down an aisle in orange heels. Seeing Holly cry. Meeting my 1 ½ year old cousin, Ruth, and receiving little baby kisses. Learning the “God blessed Texas” line dance in the dark. Watching the bride and groom dance in the rain.

But the pieces don’t capture it… The whole experience served as an excellent reminder. The Edwards clan (my mother, her siblings, and all of the families) is far from perfect, but it’s what I’ve got. And I am blessed beyond blessed.

I hope those two end up happy. I hope they grow old together and create something like my family has now.