Q3: Great Expectations

My problems is that my expectations are too high.

We're going to the grocery store? Good, because I've always needed to bump into my future husband while selecting the right avocados...

I'm saving my journals. Good thing, too, because after I'm dead and famous, posterity will really appreciate my thoughts as an adolescent. And as a third grader. Maybe it's all secretly brilliant.

I'm still looking for a summer job? Fortunately, the right one will fall into my lap, and I'll love every second of it. It's going to pave the way to my perfect career. Also, I'll probably meet my future husband.

That is, if things with avocado guy don't work out...

I miss out on things that are good because I want them to be the best.

Maybe good is the best. Which doesn't mean I need to settle. But camping out in the real world for a few months wouldn't be such a bad thing.

There's this great part in 500 Days of Summer. The scene is a party, and the screen is split into two sections: one headed "expectations" and the other "reality."

Rewind to May 4.

Expectations: I walk into the Rockrimmon Public Library and ask about open positions. There's an opening, and I'm offered the job on the spot. I spend my summer shelving books, forging relationships with misunderstood preteens, and organizing things like "Teen Read Week." It looks great on my resume. I'm a cornerstone of the little community, and I'm wildly humble. My motley crew of friends - the old men who come in early to read newspapers, the lady who reserves the whole kitchen sink to her designated section of the holds shelf, the twihards, the stuffy librarians, and the many, many moms - are all sad to see me go on August 16.

Reality: I've spent two weeks sick, lazy, and jobless. My family is good, but we're nothing to brag about in the fall. I've watched lots of television. A couple adventures are thrown in there, but it is all somewhat forgettable.

But this is good. No, it's not what I planned, and I feel some sort of loss. Not about the library. Just about being awesome. Being important. Mattering.