Grace is an every damn day kind of thing.
It screws with my golden plateau theory. That one day, I'll figure out God, and relationships, and meaning, and life, and happiness, and everything will look like it popped out of a catalog.
Well, not one of the tacky ones.
But still.
Catalog.
I get to choose between realities. I do.
I can choose grace and God and the whole "my identity IS God" thing.
I can choose bitterness and competition and "I am what I do, and so is everybody else (except I don't actually know what they do so they are what I think they do). And GOOD THING I've got this catalog that shows me all of the things that I could have if circumstances aligned for me... and also, WHY AM I NOT LOVED?"
I can choose shame and death and "you will never, ever, ever, ever be able to fix this."
And a thousand others.
And I get to choose.
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