Doing Nothing.

I was gifted a copy of The Art of Doing Nothing.

Over break, I will discover nothing. And blog about it.

Perhaps this was not the gifter's intent, but there it is.

New Year's Resolution (ahead of the game!)

My New Year's Resolution is to NEVER GET A PINTREST.






We'll see what happens.

Something I'll Regret Posting

You. You have me up at 2 a.m. blogging when I really should be asleep. Up blogging about things that really shouldn’t matter anymore, things that should have stopped mattering to me about 4 years ago, and yet, I’m still typing.

I only pretended to like The Who. Thought you should know.

The brief obsession with Douglas Adams, on the other hand, was genuine.

I really hate how almost everything I did for a while was in an attempt to impress you. I really hate how much I still try to impress you. I really hate that I felt that way – like I had to impress you. It was like you wanted something from me, something that wasn’t actually me, so I faked it… It was like I was your little dancing monkey or something.

And I’m starting to sound very like that girl who you once told in an email something like, “You’re just a girl. I should have known. Just a girl, like the rest of them. If you’re not, prove me wrong. Don’t send this to all of your friends in the next five minutes. Don’t tell anyone about it at all.”

I just want you to know that I didn’t send it to anyone. I did, however, print it out and made my dad read it because I was distraught. Just so you know - he wasn’t harsh towards you or anything. I really wanted him to be, but he wasn’t.

A couple years after you sent me that email, I showed it to Breonna, and then I BURNED IT IN MY KITCHEN SINK ALONG WITH A PICTURE OF US FROM THAT STUPID DINNER DANCE.

So, yes, you’re absolutely right, I am “Just a girl, like the rest of them.”

And I’m still trying to impress you.

And failing.

I skip every Jack Johnson song on Pandora. I love salad dressing. I always have. I always will. I always use more of it than I should.

 I care. I care about you. I still care about you, and I’m going to keep caring about you. I can’t stop caring about you. I don’t know why. I’m not going to try to untangle my motives. I just care. I care.

And you decided I was good enough for a few weeks at the beginning of this semester and then, apparently, I wasn’t good enough anymore. I wasn’t impressive enough anymore. I hadn’t earned the right of your royal attention anymore.

And that probably isn’t what happened, but it still feels like it. And I’m going to blog out my feelings in this immature manner because, as you once so astutely observed, I am “just a girl.”

Maybe you’ll read this someday, you have the URL somewhere. The worst part is that I want you to.

Oh!

I want out. I want out of my mindset, of my opinions, of my prejudices.

The hero that was supposed to rescue me can flit and fade across the movie screen, in all his brawn and bravado, brandishing his weapons.

There are other sorts of heroes - 

The sorts of heroes that understand that sanity is weakness and madness is strength. They have dreams, and they rebuild temples; their ideals are loftier than the mountains which they foolishly attempt to climb… They try to remind me that the fruits in the apple cart are not apples but oranges, and the apple cart should probably be blown to smithereens instead of merely “upset.”

The world does not understand, and will always undermine, the kingdom from which these heroes come. The world kills them, because they simply cannot exist here – they do not belong.

And always, always, the unyielding faithfulness and grace of God will exist to save us – but never in the way that we predict, never in the way that we could readily accept.

The grace of God comes out of nowhere. The grace of God hurtles past us, mounted upon a ragged horse, shouting battle cries at windmills. The grace of God is a thirty-something whack job from Nowheresville, Israel, who says that life is death and death is life. The grace of God is for those who are foolish enough to forget what’s impossible and embrace what is.

(blogging to get angst out of my system. J-me, you don't have to read this)

I turned in four papers today...

I don't think I did as well on them as I could have...

I say Evangelicals should pursue the life of the mind... and I don't do it myself...

ANGST ANGST ANGST / HYPOCRISY HYPOCRISY HYPOCRISY/ PRIDE PRIDE PRIDE.

Whooo. Ok, off to Walker's Christmas party.

Mark Noll

Prompted: Do you agree with Noll’s perceptions on the evangelical mind in the United States of America today? Pick a side – either Noll’s or the churches – and passionately defend it (do not provide middle ground or valid points for both sides; pick one stance and defend why you agree – convince me!).

“Unlike their spiritual ancestors, modern evangelicals have not pursued comprehensive thinking under God or sought a mind shaped to its furthest reaches by Christian perspectives.”

                                                                                                                                                ~Mark Noll

He’s right.

Where to start this rant… hmmmmm…

Noll starts his book by acknowledging that the modern Evangelical Church has had “dynamic success at a popular level.” And it has. But, despite this (or perhaps because of it) the modern Evangelical Church is not exactly known as a great institution of thought…

Quite the opposite.

All I really have to draw from on this topic is my own experience with the modern Evangelical Church. Here’s my spin on the facts, whatever they might be:

The literature with the “Evangelical Church” label is penned by Francine Rivers, Ted Dekker, Jerry B. Jenkins, and the like. Or it has “Chicken Soup” in the title. This is bad.

“Evangelical Church” politics seem to involve yelling. And arrogance. And television. And a moral obligation to vote Republican. This is bad.

“Evangelical Church” conferences need lights, and popular music groups, and lots of crying. This is bad.

The “Evangelical Church” teen-girl Bible study means ice cream and purity talks. This is bad.

I grew up in “Evangelical Church.” I have never read the entire Bible. This is bad.

When Noll was talking about approaching other subjects besides theology in a distinctly “Evangelical” manner, I grasped for something comparable. How do you study economics in a “Christian” way? How do you study anthropology in a “Christian” way? You can certainly do it in a “secular” way… that seems to be the only way anyone does it these days.

But is there a “Christian” way? Or is Richard Hofstadter right when he says, “In fact, learning and cultivation appear to be handicaps in the propagation of faith”?

Well, as long as the Evangelical Church keeps feeding itself intellectual Ramen, who’s going to prove him wrong?

So, here's the deal...

Working on this "The Scandal of the Evangelical Mind" chapter... I should probably come up with an intelligent response to this. I will... in the morning...

All I have right now is, "YOU GO MARK NOLL. YOU GO!"

Yep.

G'night.