A Story about a Little Dancing Monkey

Who are some of the audiences for whom we feel the pressure to perform? Given these pressures, how can students perform for an audience of one?

I’m not sure how to start this… it’s pretty melodramatic to say that I feel the pressure to perform for everyone.

But I feel the pressure to perform for everyone. I want them all to see me as good.

I want to be a good daughter. I want to be a good student. I want to be good at what I eventually decide to do. I want to be a good Christian.

I want the entire world to see me as good. I want their applause for something. And at the same time, I’m convinced that their applause, in itself, is a bad motive. In the interest of being extra good, I don’t want to have bad motives. I want their applause for doing something good AND for not needing their applause for the good thing that I did because my motives are above that kind of nonsense. And on it goes.

So, about God…

I don’t know how to perform for an audience of one, but it probably has something to do with motivation… and I’m struggling with it.